I loved comedy all my life. I think it's a real powerful art form.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

I call myself a 'domestic goddess.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.

Success goes with you when you go an extra mile.

Not everyone may not think the way you do.

You won't let anything bad happen to me, will you, Garrett?"A lump the size of Massachusetts lodges in my throat. I swallow hard and try to speak past it."Never.

I certainly know German colleagues in the US who try to be Americans, try to melt into Americanism, even before they get married and become American citizens. But I've never tried that.

My message is always the same: to cultivate and practice love, kindness, compassion and tolerance.

People make excuses [for not wanting to fight me]. It has a lot to do with my style. I'm a crafty fighter but I can also punch.

You cannot hide an eele in a sacke.

A vain man can never be altogether rude. Desirous as he is of pleasing, he fashions his manners after those of others.

Those bad times are important. They give you a chance to practice, listen, take stock, have a life, get your feet back on the ground, and maybe you'll live to tell the story.

No one will believe in you until you believe in you.