I loved feeling special. I hated feeling special.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

There's no such thing as perfect writing, just like there's no such thing as perfect despair.

What peace it must be to know that someone is yours, no matter what - it is ordained, can never be otherwise.

Hannah's magic cure for every ill, " he teased. "Blueberry cake and a kitten.

Learning to write programs stretches your mind, and helps you think better, creates a way of thinking about things that I think is helpful in all domains.

It is difficult to stop in time because one gets carried away. But I have that strength; it is the only strength I have.

It’s not getting to the wall that counts; it’s what you do after you hit it.

Lines don't make a beautiful woman less beautiful.

What is one man's life compared to the eternity of time and space? No more than a snowflake that glitters in the sun for a moment before melting into the flow of time.

Dutch in my ear, Olde E in my palm, I Freddy Krueger your face, Michael Myers your moms. You botherin mine? That's when I'm sparkin the nine.

O world, world! thus is the poor agent despised. O traitors and bawds, how earnestly are you set a-work, and how ill requited! Why should our endeavor be so loved, and the performance so loathed?