I'm 47, my girlfriend's 33; she's 14 years younger than me: Back of the net!

I did not become successful in my work through embracing or engaging in celebrity culture. I never signed away my privacy in exchange for success.

If you chase something too desperately, it eludes you.

When I was a student I was very, very ambitious, completely immersed in my comedy career. I never had that period of reckless hedonism that you should get out of your system in your youth.

I don't like big feet. It reminds me of gammon.

If things don't come easy to you, you have to pull a rabbit out of a hat.

Me, myself, personally, I like to keep myself private. I have never said I am a paragon of virtue, a model of morality. I simply do what I do.

The truth is somewhere in the middle of funny and serious.

The trick is always to write in pairs because if at least two people find it funny, you've immediately halved the odds of it not being funny.

I think if you try to look for something to show off as an actor, vanity can get the better of you.

I am of the very last generation who didn't have computers at school. As we grow old we'll become something of an aberration.

This flawless night sky adorned with crystal pendant stars is nothing more than a fragile glass of potential - shattered only to those who dare to break through it.

Our tenderness, compassion and kindness go with sensitive generous heart that should not be abused by others.

Men are more moral than they think and far more immoral than they can imagine.

It makes me itch to think of myself as Captain Beefheart. I don't even have a boat.

But 40 told me to do me and don't listen to anybody that knew me. Cause to have known me would mean that there's a new me and if you think I've changed, then the slightest could have fooled me.

Your goal should be to take your body and make it as healthy, strong, flexible and well-proportioned as you can.

I'm not a bit changed - not really. I'm only just pruned down and branched out. The real me - back here - is just the same.

Be the change you seek.

I may be an old lion, but I can still bite someone's hand off if he puts it in my mouth.