I'm Howard Stern with a vocabulary. I'm the man he wishes he could be.

Nelson Mandela is a leader Barack Obama should try to emulate... He could start by spending 27 years in prison.

My goal is to goad people into saying something that ruins their life.

I would rather go to Baghdad than go to a professional basketball game.

I talk to millions of people every day. I just like it when they can't talk back.

I'm in a unique position - I can do what I want.

I'm so happy, I think I'll dress up like J. Edgar Hoover and sing show tunes.

You can't get much more liberal than John Kerry is. I mean, he's my candidate, but, I mean, come on.

Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are a hundred ways to kneel and kiss the ground

I paint the darkness and the silence, You see them as stars and poetry.

[B]eing very smart must also make you just a little bit crazy.

One can only continue to expect to be read if one omits everything that is unimportant.

I believe that reading widely is the best preparation for writing.

Ten bajillion product ads notwithstanding, your looks are another thing that's basically genetic.

I always listen to music no matter what I'm doing. Music is definitely always something that drives the mood and creating and helps you lock that in and escape to a whole other world.

There are no degrees of honesty.

Formerly we suffered from crimes; now we suffer from laws.

Man's chief difference from the brutes lies in the exuberant excess of his subjective propensities. Prune his extravagance, sober him, and you undo him.