I'm Irish. We think sideways

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?

We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

A warrior does not give up what he loves, he finds the love in what he does

Laws alone can not secure freedom of expression

The future is already here – it's just not evenly distri

I understand the NBA and the role I play on my team. I know that I have to play a leadership role and do whatever I have to do to win.

I don't see myself being an actress forever.

A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.

I'm not saying my mother didn't like me, but she kept looking for loopholes in my birth certificate.

This relationship is going to be built on trust.

Success does not mean taking, it means truly growing and giving

Who is the man who can call from the back door at night: "Here, Champion Alexander of Clane o' Wind-Holme! Here, Champion Alexander of Clane o' Wind-Holme"?