I'm Irish, yeah, but I don't need to get up on a soapbox about it.

People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.'

Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works, because in its own way, it's quite theatrical.

You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...

Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.

I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.

Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it.

I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.

You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.

With strong spirit, you will survive any situation.

Relations were never good (how comfortable can you really be with a race that sees you as a nutritious part of a complete breakfast).

Taking care of your mental and physical health is just as important as any career move or responsibility.

I've always been a bit ambitious, but I do think the Green Party is the real opposition.

Everybody should have true love, and it should last at least as long as your life does.

Designers, stay away from corporations that want you to lie for them

Careful observers may foretell the hour (By sure prognostics) when to dread a show'r. While rain depends, the pensive cat gives o'er Her frolics, and pursues her tail no more.

I don't typically do what you're supposed to do. I focus on what I should do.

Time which diminishes all things increases understanding for the aging.

To get into the best society, nowadays, one has either to feed people, amuse people, or shock people - that is all!