I'm Larry David. I happen to enjoy wearing women's panties.

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then.

Being Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm was the best thing to happen to Larry David in life.

Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.

I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.

Women love a self-confident bald man.

Sometimes you have to wander a bit, and do what you don't want to in order to figure out what it is you're supposed to do.

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone

Never put off repairing a relationship you value. If sorry needs to be said say it now. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed to any of us.

Love songs or poetry?Ambrose: Love songs–you get the best of both, poetry set to music.And you can't dance to poetry.

Some people in your lifeTouch you so very deeplyThat you drown totally in that depth.

Labor gives birth to ideas.

Jesus wanted us to be loving and forgiving.

Fashion your life as a garland of beautiful deeds.

Keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life.

The worst is knowing I can't tell anybody what's happening -or what's happened- to me. Not even my mom.

History tends to change people who think they're changing it.

We know that when we protect our oceans we're protecting our future.