I’m a Brooklyn guy onstage, and I try to really feed my fans with the kind of material they expect from me.

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out!

When you jerk off, you're saying "Hey", I care about me.

If it smells like fish its a dish. If it smells like cologne leave it alone.

Little Boy Blue... he needed the money!

I always just loved women, but more important than loving women, more important than sexual stuff, is I always believed in romance.

I've been getting in trouble my whole life and I really don't care what anybody thinks of what I do on stage as a comic.

I'll always push myself because that's the journey of life. We do go through things. Some of it's incredibly great and some of it's really bad.

Even as a stage performer, I have my garb which is leather jackets and black jeans to make me feel a certain way. The wardrobe is really important to feeling the character you're playing.

I might do cartoonish sexual jokes, but it's my way of saying what's going on in the world. How people are animals, really.

If Lady Gaga didn't put on all those outfits, she probably wouldn't have made it in show business. She put a show behind her voice.

This was why Kiki had dreaded having girls: she knew she wouldn't be able to protect them from self-disgust.

Wilt Chamberlain lied when he said he had 20, 000 women.

When Hollywood sees a good story about a man who sells confidence, they see themselves and they like it.

The sense of inferiority inherent in the act of imitation breeds resentment. The impulse of the imitators is to overcome the model they imitate.

I think there's almost nothing I can't excuse except perhaps worshiping graven images. That seems to be idiotic.

I'm far more often annoyed than delighted by previous readers' marks in used books, so I assume that my notations will be equally annoying to future readers, and avoid making them.

I have an assistant in Vancouver to help me with my life.

Great directors turn in mediocre work and first-time directors turn in exceptional work. No matter how good a person can talk about what he wants, you never know.

If you take two steps towards God,' he used to tell me, 'God runs to you!

Everything is give and take. The solutions are in the middle not in the extremity of the situation.