I'm a believer that things happen. Fate is what happens.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

The darkness inside your head is something your imagination fills with stories that have nothing to do with the real darkness around you

Love must not suffocate but breathe on its own.

If there is to be any hope of prosperity for this country it is by reversing that policy which made us simply the kitchen garden for supplying the British with cheap food.

I will not allow the Athenians to sin twice against philosophy.

When a band like Blondie re-forms, you wish them the best.

The US Airforce assures me that UFO's pose no threat to National Security.

I hope you never think about anything as much as I think about you.

Broadway has the most savvy audience anywhere. They see everything and they know their theater. As sophisticated and subtle as you think you can be, the houses you get here will want something finer.

To-morrow, when I wake, or think I do, what shall I say of to-day?

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.