I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.

Learn how to set goals. That's the key to everything. That includes designing your own success. You define what the goal is, it's not somebody else's goal, it's yours.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke.

Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

I tried out for 'Jeopardy' once, when they came to Cleveland, but I didn't make it.

Even the good things from our pasts still only belonged in the past

The last thing she remembered before finally drifting off was how nice Steffi's hair smelled.

Nature never did betray the heart that loved her.

I know it sounds absurd, but 11 months old, I did my first commercial.

We must teach the next generation to not just learn languages, but whole cultures and belief systems. We will then make more of an effort to understand people and their different cultures.

Anything that is non-violent is OK with me.

The East Wind, an interloper in the dominions of Westerly Weather, is an impassive-faced tyrant with a sharp poniard held behind his back for a treacherous stab.

Nothing good is a miracle, nothing lovely is a dream.

If you get enough sleep, cut back on cigarettes and red meat, you look better the next day

There is no absolute beginning to any story, after all. There is only the moment you begin watching.