I'm a bit of a P. T. Barnum. I make stars out of everyone.

Nothing is easy, but who wants nothing?

There's nobody bigger or better at the military than I am.

I am the only one who can make America truly great again!

Sometimes by losing a battle you find a new way to win the war.

Don’t be afraid of being unique. It’s like being afraid of your best self.

I could stand in the middle Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters.

If you're going to be thinking anyway, think big!

Always try to learn from other people's mistakes, not your own- it is much cheaper that way!

Do you mind if I sit back a little? Because your breath is very bad.

This very expensive GLOBAL WARMING bullshit has got to stop. Our planet is freezing, record low temps,and our GW scientists are stuck in ice.

Intolerance is the natural concomitant of strong faith

On the Night of the Halloween, I have never seen any evil apparition or fearsome ghost but politicians on TV! They are the real goblins and specters!

Plato worried that philosophical writing would take the place of living conversations for which, in philosophy, there is no substitute.

My mom sent me money for a car, but the cops impounded it because I had no insurance.

Comedy is allied to justice.

Crisis for others is a source of despair. For me, it's an opportunity to bring reform. I owe this country a debt I cannot repay.

All my games are real

I'm a lot of things, but none of them are great.

I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.

True friendship is a plant of slow growth.