I'm a comedian, and I definitely see the humor in a lot of things. I am also sad a lot. I cry often and easily. I think you're supposed to feel all kinds of things.

Romance often begins by a splashing waterfall and ends over a leaky sink.

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

Find out who you are and be that person. That's what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come.

I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon.

It's our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting.

Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about knowing and accepting who you are.

Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost.

Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.

When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.

Beliefs create reality

Truly, whoever we are, wherever we reside, we exist upon the whim of murderers.

The more successful the villain, the more successful the picture.

Why do you insist on talking about what does not exist?

Every time I write something down I check it to see if it has that telltale glow, the glow that tells me there's something there. If it glows, it stays. Everything is either on or off.

I had always wanted to be a writer who confused genre boundaries and who was read in multiple contexts.

My happy weight changes. Sometimes I eat more; sometimes I play more. I'll be different sizes all the time.

As for men, those myriad little detached ponds with their own swarming corpuscular life, what were they but a way that water has of going about beyond the reach of rivers?

Good morning, people of the U.N.

My garden will never make me famous, I'm a horticultural ignoramus.