I'm a comedian at the beginning and the end of the day. I'm not affiliated with any campaign, nor do I generally find politics interesting enough to plan to be involved.

Running is special. We've all done it: well, poorly, focused, in fear, being pursued, toward a goal. It's just elemental. Running is like fire.

Cats probably wouldn't need 9 lives if they wore tiny little helmets and didn't smoke cigarettes.

It's probably not love if you don't press your face to the toilet seat after they've used it to feel their warmth.

If you have an opinion on what other adults do consensually with other adults when they take their pants off, you're a weirdo.

I can't 'make' you love me. But I can fill my pantry with your favourite snacks and offer you a weekly stipend of $75.

I think your ambition for something changes as you go.

It's hard for me to get embarrassed, but the things that do embarrass me would be if anybody ever heard my wife and I talking in our robust, made-up language.

On stage, I'm me. I'm a husband, I'm a dad, I'm a guy, I'm a mess - but I am a cohesive thing that you recognize as one human entity saying these things that he generally believes.

It's a good idea to have a break, to let your mind rest and so you can start to cultivate ideas.

It makes me sad that corporations and media and Hollywood conspire to make people feel terrible about their bodies from the second they wake up ,so I sort of try to subversively undercut that.

Be that fragnance which fades in breezes of cold air but always gives intense smell.

Yes!" Torin threw an arm over Reese's shoulder. "Smell that in the air? A grand adventure awaits.

That day I swore to never manipulate anyone again. Even if I believed I was doing good--for who am I to presume what is good for others?

Riches like glory or health have no more beauty or pleasure than their possessor is pleased to lend them.

That's the beauty of YouTube. You can take whatever you want and create a video from your home and put it up, and you're just sharing it with your friends.

Just because it's automatic doesn't mean it works.

One always starts work with the subject, no matter how tenuous it is, and one constructs an artificial structure by which one can trap the reality of the subject-matter that one has started from.

The present contains nothing more than the past, and what is found in the effect was already in the cause.

Dating is a place to practice how to relate to other people.

it is a perfect weapon