I'm a dad, and that's really important to me, and I realize now that I'm a dad that it's a major part of my identity.

I think a lot of people get into stand-up to be the center of attention, which is perfectly legitimate. But I think I got in there to be heard.

You might not agree with something, but it doesn't mean you don't need to listen to it. White people have to accept that they don't always know about racism.

Comedy is like expensive cheese. Well, it's like cheese, in general. Everybody likes what they like, and everything they don't like, they think is the worst.

I'm of the opinion that if you step on stage and you're not a straight white male, you're automatically making a political statement whether you know it or not.

It doesn't do any good to just be on the side of black people. The funnier comedic position is to be on the side of oppressed people in general.

I feel like you can share as many jokes as you want to because no joke you do on Twitter is ever gonna be so big on Twitter, for the most part, that you can't say it on stage that same night.

If I could email my jokes to the crowd and get the same immediate response [as during stand-up], I'd do that.

Some things just strike me as funny. The way things play out just makes me laugh sometimes. It drives my wife crazy sometimes because I'll just be laughing for no reason.

You pretty much have to be bad at it [stand-up] for several years to get good at it, so there's no avoiding embarrassing yourself.

I think the need to go on stage speaks to some sort of a profound psychological deficit, but something that happened when you were a kid. Or something your parents did.

Love is always the first casualty of a religious war, the second is Truth and the third...Humanity.

An advice is truly valuable when people not just give it their ears but also their obedience.

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

I get angry about stuff, I get very emotionally intense about stuff and that's how I get it out - with books, with the band, on my own onstage, but it's always kind of a wail.

When I looked at you, my life made sense. Even the bad things made sense. They were necessary to make you possible.

It's emotional warfare telling the people we love, the most, the truth about ourselves.

Surely there is no greater garden for human-nature study than the flotsam and jetsam of the hospital.

It is a simple chemical reaction that has nothing to do with fusion.

The state of marriage is one that requires more virtue and constancy than any other; it is a perpetual exercise in mortification.

To simply dismiss the concept of God as being unscientific is to violate the very objectivity of science itself.