I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

Happiness is a sacred heaven.

The only thing it took for her to be beautiful was to believe that she was.

We must believe in free will, we have no choice.

Why should it be easy to do something that, if done well, two or three times, will make your family rich for life?

I really felt it was time for a new vision.

Ultimately I think the difference between reading the Bible and studying it is making the connections between who Jesus is and what he's done.

Some temptations are so great it takes great courage to yield to them.

No hero is above fear, Percy. And you have risen above every hero. - Poseidon

Dont fight even over girlfriends. The country is full of beautiful women. If you cant get one, come to Mugabe for assistance.

Finding people who get enormous pleasure from reading books is a more and more unusual experience, and so writers just so much want to be heard.