I'm a drummer. I can count to four and repeat.

Don't jack off a cactus, you'll only hurt your hand and the cactus' feelings

It's not how you pick your nose, it's where you put that booger that counts.

The one thing about Billie is he will snap and rip your head off if you point anything out at all other than how beautiful he is and how nice he looks today.

I wish people would turn off their computers, go outside, talk to people, touch people, lick people, enjoy each other's company and smell each other on the rump

Life is like breakfast: you just mix all ingredients 'cause in your stomach it will all come together.

Punk rock has become another viable art form. It always was. But now it's like everyone's doing it.

I've matured, maybe, but not grown up.

I'm not exactly sure how many kids I have, but yes, I do miss them officially, for the record. In case any of them are listening, I love you.

I never completed high school and I am very rich and very successful.

I like Fisher Price music, nursery rhymes, and the alphabet song.

Emails are viewed as an essential historical record of an organization. A record that cannot be expunged must be created with care or not created at all.

Curiosity was a bad character trait for a private investigator to have. It created work.

The idea of having dreams that don't come true is really terrifying.

I recently attended a pro-drug rally... in my basement.

I am opposed to censorship. Censors are pretty sure fools. I have no confidence in the suppression of everyday facts.

What art does is to coax us away from the mechanical and towards the miraculous.

All that remains is the mad desire for present identity through a woman.

The foundations and the intent of the Affordable Care Act are laudable. The way it's being implemented is a disaster.

We mistake politics for legislative debate. You can be passionate without being personal.