I'm a family oriented guy; I've personally started four or five this year.

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle.

If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's.

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.

Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive

If you want to split a bottle with a friend, then Sammy Hagar is your guy. If you want to split your friend with a bottle than give me a call.

If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records.

I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.

Julian spoke with the clear, unequivocal lucidity of madmen who have escaped the hypocrisy of having to abide by a reality that makes no sense.

Think, speak and act positively.

Life itself is the lesson.

Acceptance and Work If you have a job without aggravations you don't have a job.

I am a huge romantic at heart.

The highest priority you can have is education.

Isolation and loneliness create the conditions for rapid aging. The key is to stay connected and open to new relationships throughout your life.

Write what you love. Love will hold you through the hard times and hold the world during the good times.

There we go again, old men and their stupid arguments. What a pain. ~Toshiro Hitsugaya