I'm a golfaholic, no question about that. Counseling wouldn't help me. They'd have to put me in prison, and then I'd talk the warden into building a hole or two and teach him how to play.

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

Pressure is playing for ten dollars when you don't have a dime in your pocket.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.

The older I get, the better I used to be.

You're Mexican until you make money and then you're Spanish.

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.

As someone who flew two space capsules and twice landed in the ocean, I can attest from personal experience how much logistics work is needed to get you home.

True disputants are like true sportsmen: their whole delight is in the pursuit.

Making the complicated simple is true creativity.

Nowadays when you buy music its like you're donating to that cause, because you most likely could hear it in some capacity for free.

Security should not be a black and white thing.

I'm building a glass pyramid over the Egyptian escalator where my body will be mummified, so my customers can come and see me forever.

The reality of one night, let alone that of a whole lifetime, can never be the whole truth.

There is no mode of action, no form of emotion, that we do not share with the lower animals. It is only by language that we rise above them.

Take time to compliment people every day. Do it sincerely and with no desire to gain anything but a smile in return.

You are as strong as you think you are, you can achieve things you think you can achieve, its all in your head