I'm a guy with a strong political opinion but I'm not a white nationalist.

You know, we all have our inner demons. I, for one - I can't speak for you, but I'm on the verge of moral collapse at any time. It can happen by the end of the show.

What we don't have a right to is healthcare, housing, or handouts. We don't have those rights.

Girl, you better check yourself before you wreck yourself!

Good for you, you have a heart, you can be a liberal. Now, couple your heart with your brain, and you can be a conservative.

Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is believing you're worthy of the trip.

The shadows are only the darkest when the light is at its brightest.

The moment you stop worrying about success is when success will happen.

Whoever thought a tiny candy bar should be called fun size was a moron.

If you have a priest that is pushing social justice, go find another parish. Go alert your bishop.

All men are created equal. It is what you do from there that makes the difference. We are all free agents in life. We make our own decisions. We control our own destiny.

The future, when it comes, is just like the present. The present is all you have and the opportunity of the present is worth more than the success of the past or the promise of the future.

God does watch over us and does notice us, but it usually through someone else that he meets our needs.

Nature gave men two ends-one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or failure has been dependent on the one he used most.

A bet is a tax on bullshit; and it is a just tax, tribute paid by the bullshitters to those with genuine knowledge.

One of the most clearly marked trends for over twenty years has been the decline in civil liberties.

Another threat to stability is the rise of Internet gambling

This is the great Secret of life.

I started doing improv my sophomore year.

Intention is for achievers. Hope is for the hopeless.

I want to get people to connect to the outdoors.