I'm a lapsed Catholic in the best sense of the word.

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

Life Sucks,get a helmet

You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them?

Crisis doesn't create character; it reveals it.

Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

What firefighters, and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do, basically these people say "I'm going to protect all these strangers."

From your defeat shall be your victory

I was baptized alongside my mother when I was 8 years old. Since then, I have tried to walk a Christian life... And now that I'm getting older, I realized that I'm walking even closer with my God.

I think that you can say something in one line with a look that you might need three lines on a page for normally.

But you are right, being stupid is not illegal. Otherwise half this town would be behind bars.

Doing a movie about computers between 1978 and 1982? You cant get much less sexy, less active than that.

You don't drink and smoke that much, and womanize that much, unless you really want to be punished, I think.

People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.

A belt does nothing but hold your gi together. A belt has assigned significance, a belt is someone else saying you're good, you don't need other people saying that you're good in order to be good.

We may not live in the past, but the past lives in us.

World will prosper in knowledge and intellect, if both men and women are deemed equal.