I'm a member of the 1960s generation. We didn't have any wisdom.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

[T]eaching has been for me an education (Lord knows what it has been for my students).

Unless you are ready to give up something valuable you will never be able to truly change at all, you'll forever be in the control of things you can't give up.

Whatever you do to the animals, you do to yourself.

Fool! You may hate me...But I...I haven't stopped thinking of you for a single day.

I have already spent roughly five thousand hours asleep next to you. This has to mean something.

Universities are seminaries to produce Leftists

Brokeback Mountain' just blew me away. I'll always remember talking to Heath Ledger just after he finished that movie and he was going on about working with Ang and how incredible he was.

The tendency of welfare spending in the United States has been to increase at an exponential rate.

Sometimes I shrink from your knowing what I have felt for you, and sometimes I am distressed that all of it you will never know.

Everybody's talking about people breaking into houses but there are more people in the world who want to break out of houses.