I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!

Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.

Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.

I dated a teacher in high school. Yeah, it didn't make me cooler. And a lot of you are like 'that's cause you were homeschooled'.

Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.

The flat-brimmed cap is the modern day dunce cap.

They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

In the New Year, never forget to thank to your past years because they enabled you to reach today! Without the stairs of the past, you cannot arrive at the future!

You have to learn before you can earn.

My father used to have an expression. He'd say, 'Joey, a job is about a lot more than a paycheck. It's about your dignity. It's about respect. It's about your place in your community.'

Drugs don't work in patients who don't take them.

Our youth must always be free, discussing and exchanging ideas concerned with what is happening throughout the entire world.

Everyone should know that the 'war on cancer' is largely a fraud.

Breath is perhaps the first thing we have in life. It's how we measure the starting of life and it's how we measure the ending of life.

There is one thing that motivates me. It is the global glory of God. I am first and foremost a missionary. I am an evangelist and a missionary.

I got into science fiction by being interested in astronomy first.