I'm a personality - like a George Plimpton who effectively plays himself in a bunch of different roles, or a Paul Lynde-type character.

Generally speaking, I think it is fair to say that I am a friend to the creatures of the Earth when I am not busy eating them or wearing them.

A stopped clock is correct twice a day, but a sundial can be used to stab someone, even at nighttime.

Specificity is the soul of narrative.

I am not beautiful, so I don't know why I'm making myself ugly. But the mustache stays.

All I can ask from society is that it please stop telling me why I should like sports.

I actually own a copy of my own book; that's how dedicated I am as an author.

There is no ritual that enhances creativity other than just starting.

My career as a magazine writer was largely prefaced on the idea of curiosity, to go on adventures and weasel my way into the lives of people that I admire.

A literary agent is nothing but a cheap salesman (or woman); while a writer is a cheap salesman (or woman) who also has to actually write the books.

The villain of any story is often the most compelling character.

The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it. (21)

Oh No! My wings are effed up!

The government has no business telling an individual what kind of light bulb to buy.

I just want to be remembered as a great actor.

I would like to do something a little bit more edgy.

To me, food is a representation of your soul.

Decades later I would look into my father's eyes and try to reach past the murkiness of Alzheimer's with my words, my apology, hoping that in his heart he heard me and understood.

The price must be less than one half of the former high and preferably at or near its all time low.

What we are tempted to call a disaster is sometimes the first, painful stage of a blessing.

That’s it?” Jason asked. “You spent an hour talking about how lucky you were to be dying?” No, not dying, Son. Living.