I'm a political conservative.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

If you are under the impression you have already perfected yourself, you will never rise to the heights you are no doubt capable of.

Believe that your life is not ordinary and never look down on what you can do to impact a life.

Depression/The assassin inside me

Sometimes the reason God doesn't show up to win your battles is because he already put inside of you the power to end it.

It is such a secret place, the land of tears.

...kissing me with a violence that was terrifying and yet, somehow, the summit of all my tenderest dreams.

I am the author of my life. Unfortunately, I am writing in pen and can’t erase my mistakes.

Above all be of single aim; have a legitimate and useful purpose, and devote yourself unreservedly to it.

If one swain scorns you, you will soon find another.

To be a Naturalist is better than to be a King.