I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Listen to your body. The quality of your communication matters.

But an inferior talent can only be graceful when it's carrying inferior ideas. And the more narrowly you can look at a thing the more entertaining you can be about it.

Working hard denies oneself from instant gratification.

I can not sing the old songs now! It is not that I deem them low, 'Tis that I can't remember how They go.

I've never really looked back.

When we get bumped - we spill what we are full of - Be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.

I so never went through a bad-girl period.

Churches are like announcement factories that pump toxic levels of noise pollution into the atmosphere.

Government can't do anything for you except in proportion as it can do something to you.

Of all base passions, fear is the most accursed.