I'm a very simple person. I'm very shallow. Shallow, simple, easily pleased: that's me.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

Without darkness, nothing comes to birth, As without light, nothing flowers.

Perfect Valor is to do, without a witness, all that we could do before the whole world.

It normally takes decades to build a brand... It's the forgetting of the old truth that allows a person to accept a new truth. You need to allow enough time for this forgetting to take place

Development comes from within. Nature does not hurry but advances slowly.

We book people are always preaching about reading aloud to children, but unless you do, you can't realize how it enriches family life.

If there is one thing that will make a man peculiarly and insufferable self-conceited, it is to have his stomach behave itself, the first day at sea, when nearly all his comrades are seasick.

I also like some of Joel Osteen's work. I think he's now doing a book about one of my favorite sermons of his, "The Power of 'I Am.' " I just love that sermon.

Every gal and every boy that's born alive is either a little liberal or else a little conservative.

Welcome to the Hall of Presidents.