I’m actually pale blue: it takes me a week of sunbathing to turn white.

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag; even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!

So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.

I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.

Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.

You’re only poor if you give up. The most important thing is that you did something. Most people only talk and dream of getting rich. You’ve done something.

They never opened the door which leads to the soul.

Examine your heart and put away any distraction so you can worship God freely.

Pennies do not come from heaven- they have to be earned here on earth.

In my mind, I've never lost a fight.

In some cases, some people do get depressed in the middle of their grief and they really need to be treated for depression.

I'm getting those familiar feelings, and I'm just going to enjoy the process of getting to know someone again.

I'd rather be lucky than good

I've always had goals, always had visions, always had a plan, always been very strategic.

People would be surprised to know that I've gone to regular school my whole life and I don't have one friend who is an actor!