I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

So is darkness better than a heartfelt lie?

Everything in nature is formed upon the sphere the cone and the cylinder. One must learn to paint these simple figures and then one can do all that he may wish.

I used to wear a lot of red lipstick, and when I got a pimple, I'd cover it up with eyeliner to turn it into a beauty mark.

The art of living lies not in eliminating but in growing with troubles.

Everyone in daily life carries such a heavy mixed burden on his own conscience that he is reluctant to penalize those who have been caught.

It is poor civic hygiene to install technologies that could someday facilitate a police state.

The waking have one common world, but the sleeping turn aside each into a world of his own

Caring for animals means caring for the environment they live in, and vice versa.

To see the big picture, get out of the dark valleys, climb to the sunny summits!

Look at your life as a patient and a doctor!