I'm all sentimental. I've probably been ruined by romantic movies, but I really do believe in love. I've experienced it, I've had it, so I know it's real.

Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.

We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!

Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill.

I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I'd do it again in a second.

Drew Friedman isn't just a brilliant artist. He takes you to a place. He takes you back in time. He makes you smell the stale cigarettes and cold brisket and you say, thank you for the pleasure.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore.

Looks like what drives me crazyDon't have no effect on you--But I'm gonna keep on at itTill it drives you crazy, too.

You are killing your life if you are not converting your time.

The universe is God's son.

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.

It's not a problem taking out someone who wants your people dead. That's not a problem at all.

There are inconsistencies in Donald Trump's ideology.

If a man going down into a river, swollen and swiftly flowing, is carried away by the current - how can he help others across?

I know what I don't know. I would seek out, as I have, the best advice that exists. I won't get my information from the shows.

Twenty-four hours is never enough for a busy person and way too much for somebody with nothing to do.

Being realistic is the quickest path to mediocrity