I'm always in situations where you can't be funny, and yet I want to do it anyway.

My dad is a very quick-witted, sarcastic, dry, humorous guy, whereas my mom's very silly, and that side of the family is very musical.

Most of my ideas just come out funny.

There is nothing funny about a well-adjusted, intelligent person making the right choices.

I'm a little bit of an amateur political junkie.

It's never fun to read death threats.

I sort of fell out of new music. I'm old, I like what I like, and that's that.

Nobody hates hipsters more than hipsters.

There's a lot of dopes in life, and in film school. The interesting people are usually easy to find.

Funny people don't really laugh very much.

Dads are awkward because they're older guys who aren't cool anymore and are figuring out who they are, and they often make bad choices in fashion and music.

It is strange how easy it is to remember pain.

There are trials and mistakes and even wars along the path of marriage.

You stumble upon an unhappy Martian sentry on a mission and shoot ineffectually at his powersuit a few times before he pulps you with his laserbeam eyes and hideous poisonous-gas breath. Glory!

Nanny's philosophy of life was to do what seemed like a good idea at the time, and do it as hard as possible. It had never let her down.

I've done everything every fat person ever has. I've tried every diet.

Anything that is theoretically possible will be achieved in practice, no matter what the technical difficulties are, if it is desired greatly enough.

She's quite intelligent, in my stupidity.

Politicians don't really bring up religion in England.

Sydney is full of the craziest and most talented artists of all kinds.

He has the power to heal and strengthen the soul. He is Jesus Christ.