I'm always looking for meaningful one-night stands

I'm always looking for meaningful one-night stands.

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.

Volvo — they're boxy but they're good.

Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.

Music is the surest way of reaching someone else's heart.

Jaguar — For men who'd like hand-jobs from beautiful women they hardly know.

I wish I had a dime for every dime I have.

I am trapped in this body, and there is nothing I can do about it.

I can hear the music all around me.

I certainly did feel inferior. Because of class. Because of strength. Because of height. I guess if I'd been able to hit somebody in the nose, I wouldn't have been a comic.

Sneaky would be a lime-green Volkswagen. Nobody would suspect the assassins in the lime-green Volkswagen.

Throw a warrior to the wolves and he’ll return a conqueror.

The cat . . . is for the man who appreciates beauty as the one living force in a blind and purposeless universe.

Hallo, Rabbit,” he said, “is that you?” "Let’s pretend it isn’t,” said Rabbit, “and see what happens.

Wise men learn by others' harms, fools scarcely by their own.

It does not astonish me that the critics in London relegate me to the lowest rank. Alas! I fear that they are only too justified!

As the writer you are the puppet-master and can control everything. Believe me, that is a whole lot of fun because it ain't something that's going to be happening very often in real life!

A language Older Than Words

People with HIV are still stigmatized. The infection rates are going up. People are dying. The political response is appalling. The sadness of it, the waste.

I'm constantly on the brink of tears in conversation about things that happen to people.