I'm always stunned when I find out people like Roosevelt and Tolstoy weren't Jewish. How could I love them so much?

My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.

As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.

I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.

If you stand on a soapbox and trade rhetoric with a dictator you never win.

Hope for the Best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We're unrehearsed.

Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.

If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

I don't know what to say so I'll just say what's in my heart...badoom, badoom, badoom.

You have been complaining so long about your labour pains. It's time to show us your baby! What at all have you been dreaming about that long? Let's see it and give it a name!

If you look for problems, you will find problems; if you look for solutions, you will find solutions.

If life and its rushed pace and many stresses have made it difficult for you to feel like rejoicing, then perhaps now is a good time to refocus on what matters most.

Honesty towards yourself. Looking into your mirror, any time all the time will guide.

If you get made fun for the way you look, then maybe wearing the same thing every day is the best way to protect yourself.

It requires real strength to love Man. And to love him despite all invitations to do otherwise, all provocations and all reasons why one should not.

Promises are like crying babies in a theater, they should be carried out at once.

Occupation alone is happiness.

Talk to the assistant press secretary, the deputy to key administration officials.

I demand from you in the name of your principles the rights which I shall deny to you later in the name of my principles.