I'm always trying out new stuff onstage. That's where I do all my writing.

The idea of, 'The journey is the destination' is put into action by browsing in an indie record store. Besides, a human being is a much better guide than a 'More Like This' link on the internet.

So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, 'The good outnumber you, and we always will.'

If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.

I want to experience as many different tastes, sights, emotions, conflicts, and cultures as possible, so that I can expand the canvas of my memory and enrich my comedy.

Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as "Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice"?

I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck.

You have to be ruthless with yourself, in terms of being honest about what is working and what is not.

Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.

I hate all sidekicks.

I identify myself as a stand-up first. Even though lately there's been an explosion of acting on my schedule.

What begins will eventually end. The gap between is life.

But life does not consist of words.Life consists of reality.

Death takes in many people, but still lives alone.

...all these epic battles and monsters lately - but love is a tiny world and I prefer a more personal style...

All that is valuable in human society depends upon the opportunity for development accorded the individual.

Sustainability is a set of conditions and trends in a given system that can continue indefinitely

I think you learn about yourself through experiences - as many of them as you can manage.

Dictators long ago found out it is easier to unite people in common hatred than common love.

All the happiness, self-confidence, and support you're seeking is already within you.

I am the worlds laziest writer.