I'm always working on stuff. But they never materialize. I'm always working on movies and TV shows.

I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.

You can’t make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.

I know nowadays the common wisdom is to celebrate diversity as long as you don't point out that people are different.

I'm just another guy who thinks he's smarter than he is, in a long line of them.

The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either.

The earth is a used Kleenex on the universe's nightstand.

Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you'll have the mind of a 12-year-old masquerading as an adult.

So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes in each office and situation.

People say history is boring, and that is true because people are boring. We haven't changed since time began. We're still the same.

I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.

Don't allow life to pass you by because you are afraid of [looking] stupid.

My window fogs and this makes me feel like there is no world outside of the car.

I've got the courage to apply our conservative principles. I can't do it alone. With your help, with God's grace, we can save the idea of America before it's too late.

There is no fundamental difference between man and animals in their ability to feel pleasure and pain, happiness, and misery.

I'm not a big fan of those who are egotistical and so outspoken.

Pleasing ware is half sold.

The unasked questions are the most dangerous to answer.

Normal people think I'm insane.

But there are some persons who wouldpersuade the people never to make use of their constitutional rights.

He's one of those guys whose English gets worse every year. But as long as it doesn't affect his play, we're all right.