I'm an Aries. I need everybody to like me.

I'm a lurker and a creep. Women don't like me because I sleep standing up, like a horse.

I'm insecure, and I need the validation of strangers to feel whole. So, I need every single racist 12-year-old on the Internet to like me, or I don't feel complete.

A hole is a hole has always been my motto.

I think everyone is bi, right? There's no such thing as sexual orientation, or race, or gender. Those are all obsolete man-made concepts.

I will smoke crack before I die. I want to see what all the hubbub is about.

I can't tell if the world is worse now or if we just have more cameras. There are cameras everywhere, so now the world knows how bad the world is.

I think we give human beings too much credit. We're primates, you know.

The president is the country's scapegoat more than the country's leader; the president has as much power as we think the president has. Whoever has the most money is the puppet master.

Do you think we're going to hit a tipping point and the world's going to end?

Before The Simpsons, I was 4 years old, so I don't know exactly what I was thinking before that.

The fate of humanity is a common destiny of death.

Dreams are for doers.

I don't know who you are, " she thought, "but whoever you are, you're one hell of a player.

You try to tell yourself that you've been lucky, most incredibly lucky, and usually that works because it's true. Sometimes it doesn't work, that's all. Then you cry.

But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!

Nature has placed the need to see justice done in some souls, and the need to flout and affront it in others.

It were not best that we should all think alike.

The way a book is read, which is to say, the qualities a reader brings to a book can have as much to do with its worth as anything the author puts into it.

I DID IT!!!! WOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

I can't promise that I won't continue to embarrass people.