I'm an entertainer and I entertain people and they entertain me back by asking questions. And some of them I answer.

A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.

The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh.

Inviting people to laugh with you while you are laughing at yourself is a good thing to do. You may be a fool but you're the fool in charge.

I am an atheist. I have a very different take on who God is. Man invented God because he needed him. God is us.

Give yourself an impossible task and solve it - then you've got a really good story.

A fellow who has a funny bone can learn to hone his skills, but I don't think you can develop a funny bone - you either have it or you don't. And by the way - when you get it, we don't know it.

Lust is easy. Love is hard. Life is most important.

Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow. ~Swedish Proverb Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important.

Id like to acknowledge three people who early on knew Mel Brooks was one of the funniest people in the world: Sid Caesar, me, and Mel Brooks.

Comedians are really writers who don't have pens and pencils about them, but they riff.

Love thy soul, manifest thy light

Think like a maverick, Fight like a gladiator, Love with a humble heart and Die for a cause worth dying for... Be a "game changer"....The basic tenets of my life philosophy.

The secret to following God's will, I discovered, usually is wrapped up in rejecting the good for God's best.

The paintings are transferred from my computer to a disk, and I can hand it to the printer this way; or I can modem the painting to the printer over the phone lines from my house in Hawaii.

It's been said that no man is a hero to a newspaperman, and I spent too many years as an ink-stained wretch.

I feel like I am too old to eat jelly. But I am too young to eat prunes. I am between grapes.

It was you and me, Tom. We did this to them. To us.

Teenage dreams so hard to beat

People really do think they have to choose between high stress and high reward jobs, and low stress and low reward jobs.

If you hear Anarchy in the UK today your hair stands on end. It gives you the shivers.