I'm an ugly girl, My face makes you hurl, Sad I have it, I should bag it. Acne everywhere, Unwanted facial hair. I'm a relation to Frankenstein's creation.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.

In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.

At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute.

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

Even through the darkest phaseBe it thick or thinAlways someone marches braveHere beneath my skin

If political authority is not limited, the division of powers, ordinarily the guarantee of freedom, becomes a danger and a scourge.

I think that 'Fox & Friends' audience is going to increase. That franchise in the morning is very important to any television operation because they make money.

The busier you are, the less time you have to make decisions.

My songs aren't bubble gum pop dance songs and I don't have background dancers on every single song.

You can hide beneath the covers and study your pain, make crosses from your lovers, throw roses in the rain. Waste your summer praying in vain, for a savior to rise from these streets.

Words are the soul's ambassadors, who go / Abroad upon her errands to and fro.

Occasionally ask, "What is the connection between what I want most in life and anything I plan to do today?

This is what love does and continues to do. It tastes like honey to adults and milk to children.

From one tyrant to another. That is the world we know, now