I'm at an age where my back goes out more than I do.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

The deepest pain I ever felt was denying my own feelings to make everyone else comfortable.

Any creature, even one as unassuming as a fish, can become something mighty. When they courageously endure their trials, they meet their destiny.

Next time someone tells you to smile for the camera, & you don’t feel like it—say no, thanks. Don’t fake your way into a happy-seeming life. Open vulnerable honesty is true positivity.

You are corrupting me, Theo." "But you like being corrupted, don't you, sweet girl?

I think ideas are still the most powerful things on the planet, and music is a great way to transmit them.

It is our commitment to wholeness that matters, the willingness to unfold in every deep aspect of our being.

Find someone who is willing to share the truth with you.

Americans need bullshit the way koala bears need eucalyptus leaves. They've become totally addicted to it. They get so much of it back home that they can't survive without it.

Fie, fie, how frantically I square my talk!