I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!

To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition.

God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.

The problem is, we always want to pay the prices we can afford.

Love me with open arms and I will love you with Open HEART

If I left I would feel a deserter - like the guy who walks away from the army once there is a war. I am highly committed to this club. I love what I do here and love the spirit of the team.

I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.

Now you see how you are, the wisdom mixed in with all the scars.

Kill one and you might as well kill 21.

A man can't ride your back unless it's bent.

The politicians, who once stated that war was too complex to be left to the generals, now act as though peace were too complex to be left to themselves.

I’m not anyone,” he says. “I’m nobody. That’s what being factionless is.

The critical point is that the Constitution places the right of silence beyond the reach of government.