I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

My name or yours doesn't matter, we all are mere drops in the ocean of divine consciousness, an extension of Supreme Power'.

Practice brings better results than prayer.

We have to do a better job of putting some rules on the insurance companies.

If you simply try to tell the truth you will, nine times out of ten, be original without ever having noticed it.

Oh, I steal things all the time. It's just something I do. I stopped caring a long time ago.

I was very happy and honored to create the Professor Garfield Foundation with Ball State to make reading fun.

Socialist ideology is making France go to pot, and the French language with it.

Verily, the index finger that testifies to the oneness of Allah Azzawajal in prayer, utterly rejects to write even an alphabet, endorsing the rule of the tyrant

We didn't realize we were making memories we just knew we were having fun.

Living together is an art.