I'm competitive at everything.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.

Learn how to set goals. That's the key to everything. That includes designing your own success. You define what the goal is, it's not somebody else's goal, it's yours.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself.

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke.

Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

So before we end and then beginWe'll drink a toast to how it's beenA few more hours to be completeA few more nights on satin sheetsA few more times that I can sayI've loved these days

By nature, men love newfangledness.

Find out what you are, then do it on purpose

We're always trailing, as far as the amount of roles that are written for us and the films that are being made that have black characters in them. I don't know if that's going to change.

Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is, death ends. This? It can go on forever.

The way my team are doing, we could get Wilt Chamberlain in a trade and find out that he's really two midgets Scotch-taped together.

How many years you have to keep on doing, until you know what to do and how to do!

I had funny memories, too, but the music was more important to me than anything else.

When you sell in desperation, you always sell cheap.

Science is uncertain.