I’m creating a self help show called Self Talk. I’ll insult myself for an hour then open phone lines to a fitness coach & my mother-in-law.

The choice to make good choices is the best choice you can choose. Fail to make that choice and on most choices you will lose.

Life is a web of intersections and choices. Your 1st choice is to recognize an intersection. Your 2nd choice is to be grateful for it.

Get off the treadmill of consumption, replication, and mediocrity. Begin lifting the weights of creativity, originality, and success.

A professional headshot in front of a bookshelf says you're an intellectual. A professional headshot peeking though a bookshelf says you're probably under a restraining order.

One of my relatives invented the sensory deprivation tank. Appropriately, most of my family has never seen or heard of him.

When I first tried a sensory deprivation tank, people thought I had lost my mind. In fact, I had found it.

I've never written a quote I feel would be suitable for my gravestone. Wouldn't it be ironic if it were this one? Oh, and could you pull a few weeds while you're here?

The best cure for a stick up your butt is a dog to play fetch with.

Part of my soul goes into each quote I write. A book of my quotes can be yours for just $19.99.

Quotes are echos of voices transporting wisdom, humor, and love. Returning again to the human condition, fleeting once more as a dove.

The truth of the matter is that the whole world has already been turned upside down by the work of Jesus Christ

They listened more than they talked, but that was the way of wise men and women.

Cannibals prefer those who have no spines.

The concept of absurdity is something I'm attracted to.

Even the contemplative life is only an effort, Nora my dear, to hide the body so the feet won’t stick out.

I really wouldn't classify the books as mysteries. I prefer to say that they're adventures.

I'd rather look ridiculous when everybody else does than plain and sensible all by myself.

Once I talked to the inmates of an insane asylum in Hartford. I have talked to idiots a thousand times, but only once to the insane.

Let us be clear about one thing: The tea party movement is not seeking a junior partnership with the Republican Party, but a hostile takeover of it.

I have been an avid reader of 'Golf Digest' ever since I started playing this great game.