I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.

When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.

Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is.

I'm very loyal in a relationship. Any relationship. When I go out with my mom, I don't look at other moms and go, "I wonder what her macaroni and cheese tastes like."

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.

They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.

Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate.

Women need to know that not all guys are going to hurt them the way that the guy did before they started dating me. I know guys I wouldn't go out with.

I'm dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over.

The greater the number of fish a river bears the greater the number of fishermen that patronize it.

Be kind enough to love those who don't deserve your love.

Historically, Alaska is a place that has attracted those fed up with conventionality.

Never call an accountant a credit to his profession; a good accountant is a debit to his profession.

Ten Delta Airlines baggage handlers were arrested for smuggling drugs into Detroit. Yeah, you can tell Delta was involved, because the drugs were supposed to be smuggled into Chicago.

Barrons: "He got upset it wouldn't shut up and tore its head off." Mac: "The child?" I gasped

(American swimmer, 1972 Summer Olympics, on winning seven gold medals Inspirational) I swam my brains out.

Leadership is not about experience, education or talent. It's about choosing to lead.

Personalities and fame pass; the revolution must remain.

Choose an author as you would a friend.