I'm dealing with fools and trolls and soft targets. It's just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee. I don't have time for these clowns.

I don't have a tuxedo that fits anymore because my chest and my biceps are too big.

I'm tired of pretending like I'm not bitching, a total fricking rock star from Mars...

Boom, crush. Night, losers. Winning, duh.

I've got magic. I've got poetry at my fingertips.

People say it's lonely at the top, but I sure like the view.

I still don't have all the answers. I'm more interested in what I can do next than what I did last.

The best way to not get your heart broken, is pretending you don't have one.

It's quite fitting that Slash is getting a star on the very street Axl Rose will one day be sleeping on.

I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.

My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math.

I've been thinking a lot aboit the energy of the universe. And if energy can't ever be created or destroyed, only transferred, what do you think happens to people's energy once they die?

We have the ability to survive anything.

Sometimes comfort doesn't matter. When a shoe is freakin' fabulous, it may be worth a subsequent day of misery. Soak in Epsom salts and take comfort in the fact that you're better than everyone else.

I did not bow down to you, I bowed down to all the suffering of humanity.

I wonder if "an" ever occurs before "haughty" except in a quotation, or whether you can make anything sound like a quotation by adding a word like "goeth"?

I can't help being Christian because I was brought up in Britain, and the morality of Christianity is part of the fabric of this country.

Middle age is when you stop criticizing the older generation and start criticizing the younger one.

A minority is always compelled to think. That is the blessing of being in the minority.

I work with a lot of movie stars.

To cease to love -- that is defeat.