I'm doing comedy development at National Lampoon.

I'm the guy, I'm kind of like the, uh, Everyman, so I think people just relate to that.

I want people to realize that the domestic abuse charges happened in 1989. I didn't meet any of them until 1993.

Having been born into the house of a warrior, one's intentions should be to grasp the long and the short swords and to die.

I think that money is the root of all evil. I've seen it happen.

It is said that the inferior seek to emulate the superior. Thus, if a general slackens only a little, those beneath him will be greatly negligent.

If a man does not investigate into the matter of bushido daily, it will be difficult for him to die a brave and manly death.

Quadratic reciprocity is the song of love in the land of prime numbers.

As for the decorum at the time of a campaign, one must be mindful that he is a samurai. A person who loves beautification where it is unnecessary is fit for punishment.

At the time that I knew them, they were not living together. They began dating again after their divorce, so I didn't really see fighting.

I don't want to be Kato, the trial guy. It's like everything I do is under a microscope.

What you choose also chooses you.

Poets speak of hope in ladies smiles, but give me a smirk any day, I say.

Ah, the outdoors,' Shallan said. 'I visited that mythical place once.

I think people when they think of comedic actors they forget that they are people with a point of view and experiences and depth.

Stay away from the ones you love too much. Those are the ones who will kill you.

No matter what happens, the U.S. Navy is not going to be caught napping.

I want a one-armed economist, that way he cannot say, 'on the other hand'.

Develop your legitimate strangeness.

People wanted the world to be a story, because stories had to sound right and they had to make sense. People wanted the world to make sense.

The worst part of getting close to someone is the part when you have to miss them.