I'm down to earth; people sense that and they appreciate it.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.

Learn how to set goals. That's the key to everything. That includes designing your own success. You define what the goal is, it's not somebody else's goal, it's yours.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself.

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke.

Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

Everything is in the way the material is composed.

The same people who smile in my face would be the same ones to talk behind my back.

Anytime you're away from your home filming, it messes with your head.

An editor is someone who separates the wheat from the chaff and then prints the chaff.

Every time you swim out to the rock, it gets a little closer.

The last few months of George Bush's presidency brought Obama and nobody can be happy about that.

I have learned all kinds of things from my many mistakes. The one thing I never learn to stop making them.

I would be a fool to lose my heart to him, but I am tempted more each day.

I love a happy ending. They are so rare.

what primitive tastes the ancients must have had if their poets were inspired by those absurd, untidy clumps of mist, idiotically jostling one another about