I'm enjoying my life, post-menopause, so much. It's just so great to grow into yourself, and not be bothered with all that tyranny of biology.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

I call myself a 'domestic goddess.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.

Writer's block is caused by forcing your will on the Divine.

The grand prize in us versus them is that somebody gets to feel special for a while. The grand prize in the game of unity is that everyone gets to feel special forever.

Revolve your world around the customer and more customers will revolve around you.

Because I just like sports, I like athletics and I like competition.

You are quite the beauty. If no one has ever told you that before, know that right now. You are quite the beauty.

Money is the most envied, but the least enjoyed. Health is the most enjoyed, but the least envied.

Could I ask if there’s anything in between Step One and Step Two? ‘Oh ye of little faith.’

If I’d been talking about black trash, I might be lynched. If I was talking about white trash, I’d merely be another torchbearer in an ongoing national lynching.

I went to this tattoo parlor in the East Village and I got an outline of a violin on my lower back. They call them tramp stamps now.

I think that food ties us to our community and our traditions, and it's the thing that makes us feel good and connected.