I'm fascinated by the logic that leads to something.

I don't have a kid, but I think that I would be a good father, especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.

I don't speak French, but I took it for five years growing up. So, if I were in a situation where I had to be, like, 'Excuse me, pineapple dog house red, what time is it library?' - no problem.

If no one figures out you are pretending to be retarded, your life will be greeted with treasure.

A lot of people think that kids say the darnedest things. But so would you if you had no education. You'd just be like, I am bike cheese. Because you wouldn't know what words were.

What do you think you should do if you're attacked by a bear? Play dead? No - that's a lie promoted by the bears.

What I think you should do is imagine people in their underwear but then also imagine them crying, and that - that is truly relaxing.

Marriage is when two people love each other so much that they promise that if they ever, ever stop they'll fill out tons of paperwork.

Why is no one talking about all the potential savings from a complete economic collapse?

If things are really overwhelming and you need to talk, you can give me a call at 347-273-2044.

In America, Qualification is simply an attitude. I've adopted it. So, yes. I am qualified.

Time makes everything mean and shabby and wrinkled. The tragedy of life, Howard, is not that the beautiful things die young, but that they grow old and mean.

The Christians of today are so unsubmissive to the leadership of the church, this is unbiblical.

Consult the Genius of the Place in all.

I'll lose about 20 pounds during the season.

Courtney Cox got me this Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer. She wears it, too! If one of us finds a product we love, we buy it for the other.

When an apparent miracle happened.it proved divine mission to the credulous, and proved a contract with the devil to the skeptical.

We’re seeing that business models and philanthropic models are not mutually exclusive.

How can it be that it is not a news item when an elderly homeless person dies of exposure, but it is news when the stock market loses two points? This is a case of exclusion.

On the whole, show business is a hard business in which to be married

Nor bird nor beast Could make me wish for anything this day, Being old, but that the old alone might die, And that would be against God's Providence.