I'm fond of kissing. It's part of my job. God sent me down to kiss a lot of people.

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

Sometimes you can only find Heaven by slowly backing away from Hell.

If my life wasn't funny it would just be true, and that is unacceptable.

No motive is pure. No one is good or bad-but a hearty mix of both. And sometimes life actually gives to you by taking away.

My heart's in the right place. I know, 'cuz I hid it there.

Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life.

I am mentally ill. I can say that. I am not ashamed of that. I survived that, I'm still surviving it, but bring it on. Better me than you.

There is no point at which you can say, "Well, I'm successful now. I might as well take a nap."

I get lots of awards for being mentally ill. Apparently, I am better at being mentally ill than almost anything else I've ever done. Seriously - I have a shelf of awards for being bipolar.

You know the bad thing about being a survivor... You keep having to get into difficult situations in order to show off your gift.

Jacques wants a pancake shaped like Mozart's Symphony No. 40! In G minor!

There lives a man, who is too small for his own brain." ‪#‎iampm‬

I think I have a better chance at getting an Oscar before a Grammy.

I'd like to leave America for someplace where they would not know a word of English and I might be understood.

I'm calling on the Supreme Leader of North Korea, or as I call him, 'Kim,' to do me a solid and cut Kenneth Bae loose.

We are more concerned about looking stupid (fear of people) than we are about acting sinfully (fear of the Lord).

And I definitely do that very British thing of, take things with a pinch of salt, stiff upper lip, you know what I mean?

when you start to bore yourself and others, that's when you begin to get old.

I had headaches for over 30 years until I tried chiropractic. They have completely disappeared.

Long hair is an unpardonable offense which should be punishable by death.