I'm for prayer in the schools because ritual and ceremony are calming and civilizing, and the little fartlings should be tamped down whenever possible.

A home without a grandmother is like an egg without salt.

If you ever meet someone who cannot understand why solitary confinement is considered punishment, you have met a misanthrope.

I simply like guns because you can't shoot people without them.

I wasn't used to children and they were getting on my nerves. Worse, it appeared that I was a child, too. I hadn't known that before; I thought I was just short.

Writers who have nothing to say always strain for metaphors to say it in.

If we define a misanthrope as 'someone who does not suffer fools and likes to see fools suffer,' we have described a person with something to look forward to.

The more immoral we become in big ways, the more puritanical we become in little ways.

God may have loved the common people, but a trip to any shopping mall suggests that He made far too many of them.

Golf is an exercise in Scottish pointlessness for people who are no longer able to throw telephone poles at each other.

Democracy is the fig leaf of elitism.

Never underestimate love, as you need estimate to underestimate.

You look good wearing my future.

If you are hardworking and determined, you will make it and that's the bottom line. I don't believe in an easy way through.

As Hoffman later lamented, “The reality distortion field can serve as a spur, but then reality itself hits.

And how she looked at me like I could save her from everything bad in he world. This was my secret: she was the one who saved me

Usually writer's block arises when something is wrong internally with the story.

The experience and behavior that gets labeled schizophrenic is a special strategy that a person invents in order to live in an unlivable situation.

Peace will come to earth when the people have more to do with each other and governments less.

I never had any plans to become a producer when I was a kid. I wanted to be a DJ, like most other kids at the time. Then my mum bought me a Casio keyboard and I started to sample sounds that I liked.

Matthew Broderick and Megan Mullally were unbelievable to work with in 'How to Succeed.